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Reasons I'm Stressed
Sep. 26th, 2023 01:51 pm Okay, let me preface this by saying that yesterday was a GOOD day, a day of epiphanies and affirmations. And then the pressure hit.
I'm not enough. In no particular order, here's why:
I'm not enough. In no particular order, here's why:
- I can't sleep in my own bed -- my room was destroyed by a shitty repair crew
- I can't watch TV -- mine is probably destroyed from the construction debris
- My family is getting sick from the dust and I can't get it cleaned up fast enough -- not and still earn a pittance and fulfill other contractual promises
- I'm behind on my contractual promises
- Driving RideShare is becoming less lucrative every damn day, and I'm one more minor disaster away from being unable to even do that
- I can't find a better job
- I can't pay my car insurance.
- I can't make my credit card payment (the last card I've managed to keep)
- I can't get my oil changed
- I can't get my worn tires replaced (I've already replaced another tire THREE TIMES this month)
- I'm one contact lens away from being legally blind
- My glasses are also broken
- I can't get an eye exam for myself
- I can't get an eye exam for my son. He's using his sister's old glasses to see.
- I can't get an eye exam for my daughter.
- I can't afford to pay my student loan (due to start again next month)
- I can't afford to pay my SBA loan (due to start in February)
- I can't afford my supplements
- I don't have time to see the chiropractor for my back, but they keep charging me a prescription and I have to go in to cancel
- Everyone thinks I can get things done easy-peasy in the snap of a finger, but they don't realize how much time and work goes into what they're asking me to do
- Everyone thinks I'M the strongest person in the room... and they're probably right
- I have no one stronger to lean on
- I'm lonely, but the only possible fix right now is 5000 miles away - and he doesn't know, and I'm afraid to tell him because it might destroy our friendship and that would fucking kill me.
- My brain hurts trying to find solutions. It wants to shut down... permanently.