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They think it's so easy
"Ask for help," they say. "You're not alone," they say. Okay, fine... you ask. You are ignored. You're patronized. You get cutesy emojis, but not the real help you need. You share your problems with a friend, and you get advice... so... much... advice. Good advice! Advice that comes with YEARS of experience behind it. Great. Except that it doesn't help... because you already KNOW what they're gonna say. You already KNOW what you have to do. You just can't do it, yourself... not alone, anyway. You've lost that ability to fight on your own, which is why you were asking for help in the first place.
"You just gotta..." Yeah. I know. I've tried, and it made things worse. "You just gotta..." Sure. I could, but then I'd be handing off the chaos to somebody else... or giving up some of the comforts or blessings or other things that keep me hanging on right now. You're asking me to let go and freefall... but I can't do that. Not right now. For... reasons.
"Think of the children." I AM THINKING OF THE CHILDREN! I'M THINKING OF MY CHILDREN! I KNOW MY CHILDREN AND WHAT THEY CAN TAKE AND WHAT THEY WANT TO TAKE AND WHAT THEY CAN'T TAKE AND HOW THEY'LL GROW OR SHRIVEL OR RUN AND HIDE! Thank you for your concern, really... but I'm honestly doing the best I can. Rome wasn't built in a day... neither will the new Me.
It isn't easy. It isn't quick. Rebirth isn't painless. If it were, suicide wouldn't be so alluring.
Next time someone asks you for help, just LISTEN!
"You just gotta..." Yeah. I know. I've tried, and it made things worse. "You just gotta..." Sure. I could, but then I'd be handing off the chaos to somebody else... or giving up some of the comforts or blessings or other things that keep me hanging on right now. You're asking me to let go and freefall... but I can't do that. Not right now. For... reasons.
"Think of the children." I AM THINKING OF THE CHILDREN! I'M THINKING OF MY CHILDREN! I KNOW MY CHILDREN AND WHAT THEY CAN TAKE AND WHAT THEY WANT TO TAKE AND WHAT THEY CAN'T TAKE AND HOW THEY'LL GROW OR SHRIVEL OR RUN AND HIDE! Thank you for your concern, really... but I'm honestly doing the best I can. Rome wasn't built in a day... neither will the new Me.
It isn't easy. It isn't quick. Rebirth isn't painless. If it were, suicide wouldn't be so alluring.
Next time someone asks you for help, just LISTEN!
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